Gentle Masculinity of the Prophet ﷺ By Hadeel Bahaa “I know when you are content with me and I know when you are angry with me. When you are content with me, you swear by the lord of Muhammad and when you are angry with me you swear by the lord of Ibrahim.” – The Beloved ﷺ to his wife Aisha Every time I come across this prophetic narration I’m left speechless on the emotional intelligence of the Beloved ﷺ . How amidst his big mission of leading the whole ummah and spreading Islam across nations, he’d notice how his wife addressed him indicating she wasn’t pleased with something and how he’d be playful about it and not take it to heart. This is the Prophet ﷺ, the Master of the whole creation yet he makes sure that his wife knows how much he cares for her, being mindful of her reactions. After he’d be done with the duties of the day, he’d engage in an activity with her. “Let’s run together and see who reaches there faster”. He would win the race and remind her that now they are even since she won last time. Aisha would describe him ﷺ: “He was the sweetest person at home.” Aisha’s head would fall into his lap from so much joy and laughter. She heard the Prophet ﷺ making dua for her once. He asked her ” Does my dua for you make you happy?” She exclaimed, “And who wouldn’t be happy if you made dua for him?!” Who is the most beloved person to you? Amr ibn Al As asks him. The Prophet ﷺ says: Aisha Amr asks: then who? The Prophet ﷺ says: Her father. They say that when someone is truly in love they are in love with each and everything related to the person. In an environment where no man would speak about his woman publicly. The Prophet ﷺ made a clear-cut statement that she is the most beloved person to him. As if the companion found it strange that he’d mention a woman. He asked the question again. The Prophet ﷺ reaffirmed that her father was his second favorite because she belonged to him. He didn’t even say his name. He said: “Her father”. I love whomever you belong to. Aisha breaks the dish in front of the Prophet ﷺ because his other wife sent it to him. The Prophet ﷺ would say: “Your mother is just jealous”. That’s it. He didn’t reprimand her. He didn’t quieten her. He acknowledged her raw emotions. He just made this statement and moved on. ” I choose you o Messenger of Allah” That was her words when the Prophet ﷺ gave her the choice between having more of the riches of this world by leaving him or staying with him without the world at their feet. And just as she chose him, he chose to die in her presence. “Please, will you let me spend my last moments with her?”, he’d ask in a polite manner and he could have just done it without asking. Where are we in the prophetic meter when it comes to our relationships? That was a relationship that was founded on love for Allah first and foremost. A relationship where you could be your most authentic self, vulnerable, and different without the other taking this out against you. “You will be asked about the one you are taking care of” -The Beloved ﷺ Embodying the Beloved ﷺ makes you close to the Beloved. So what are you waiting for?
Tag Archives: Islamic_psychology
Review & Reflections by Rushna Ali Khan “ Be happy, at peace, and joyful; and don’t be sad.” Don’t be Sad by Dr. ‘A’ id al-Qarni is one book which enlightens the readers about the Islamic way of dealing with the trials and tribulations of this world. Based on references from the Qur’an and Sunnah, this book also takes into consideration the philosophies of many Western and Eastern thinkers which align with the truth. The author’s writing style is clear and simple, making the reader understand the words effortlessly. The book is divided into small sections with timely verses from the Qur’an, Hadith of our beloved Prophet PBUH, poetry verses, excerpts, pauses to reflect upon, and anecdotes making the book more interesting rather than monotonous. This was the first book that came to my mind when I thought of writing a book reflection for the ISIP blog. This book has taught me the thick and thin, black and white, good and bad of this through the eye of Islam. If I start writing the reflections from this book, I can write pages and pages but let me mention the top 5 lessons from this book which have changed the perspective of my life. The author reasonably points out that we humans ignore dealing with the present, brood over the past and dream about the future. Just like we cannot return the sun to its place of rising nor the baby to its mother’s womb, similarly we cannot undo what’s already done. The trees shed their leaves welcoming the new season and so should we. Being mindful and living in the present saves us from the regrets of the past and anxieties of the future. We should plan the course of our day thinking today is all that we have. Our day should revolve around obeying Allah (SWT) and planning to part ways with this world. We should live as if today is our last day in this world. Rushing for things that haven’t yet come will only make our living worse. We will engage in constant hope for the future neglecting the blessings with which Allah (SWT) has already bestowed upon us. “The important thing to know is that tomorrow is from the world of the unseen, a bridge that we do not cross until it comes,” says Dr. Qarni. 2. Patience is most fitting – One achieves success after a journey full of hardships. Patience is the key to everything. We must put our trust in Allah (SWT) and arm ourselves with patience. Difficulties need to be faced with firm resolution and patience needs to be displayed. Once time passes by, the one who is patient will be rewarded with success. Be patient. Certainly, Allah does not let the rewards of those who do good go to waste (Quran 11:115) 3)Do not carry the weight of the globe on your shoulders- They think that every cry is against them (Quran 63:4) The author mentions that some people have a heart that is like a sponge absorbing all kinds of fallacies and misconceptions. Such a heart is troubled and shaken by hardships. We must have a brave heart and firm faith to overcome the challenges that life throws upon us. We must be more ferocious than the winds of calamity whereby we are putting our complete trust in Allah (SWT). He knew what was in their hearts. So He bestowed inner peace upon them and rewarded them with a victory near at hand….. (Quran 48:18) 4. The blessing of knowledge- Read! In the Name of your Lord, who has created all that exists (Quran 96:1) “The soul, by its very nature, longs for the acquisition of new knowledge to stimulate it and the mind.” If we crave happiness then we should seek knowledge. Knowledge is a light that leads to wisdom. Through knowledge, the path to reach our goals becomes clear, making us get rid of anxiety, depression and grief. 5. Do not grieve. There is another life to come- Quoting a verse by an Arab poet, “If the minister and his delegates rule despotically, And the judge on earth is unjust in his judgments, Then woe, followed by woe after woe Upon the judge of the Earth from the judge Who is above.” Dr Qarni realistically puts forward the ultimate truth, “Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon ( Verily we belong to Allah and verily to Him do we return)” Life of this world is temporary and there is another permanent life to come. The day will come when Allah will gather together the first of the creation and the last of it. There will be no grievance and injustice in that life. Surely, one should live like a traveller in this world preparing for a world hereafter. Subhanallah! These are my top 5 reflections from this book. Indeed, one cannot find true peace and happiness without putting their trust in Allah (SWT). One must follow the divine truth, and be patient. All this will make the course of our lives in this world much easier.
International Student of Islamic Psychology (ISIP) prides itself as an open space to connect people with diverse backgrounds interested in Islamic Psychology through knowledge sharing, awareness creation and reaching global audiences. Working towards the development of a global standard practice for Islamic Psychology (IP) and increasing the awareness for academic research and studies. In addition to our various online platforms of engagement, the blog aims to reach unique audiences and to serve as a confluence for people of varying backgrounds and experience to benefit each other thereby increasing the awareness and knowledge of Islamic Psychology in an informal manner. The ISIP BLOG Team will share: first-hand experiences of Muslims attending therapy (patients who have been treated by a Muslim mental health practitioners whether practicing IP or not, or a non-Muslim practioners) reflections and knowledge exchange from Muslim practitioners in mental health (to better understand and appreciate various approaches to Islamic Psychology) Review of books relevant to IP from Traditional scholarship and recent academic research studies and much more… We look forward to receiving articles with content from the categories mentioned above and publishing your brilliant thoughts on the ISIP blog page. It is an opportunity for everyone one to share, learn and connect with like minds through readership and thereby contributing to the development of Islamic Psychology. For those who may not be able to put down their ideas or experience in writing a request for an interview with the blog team to transcribe and publish their thoughts is available. For article submissions or requests for an interview, please contact us via email at: blog@isip.foundation