Summary notes by Fathima Sameer The ongoing events in Gaza highlight the resilience and fortitude of its people, navigating daily crises amidst a war-torn landscape. From afar, we often feel helpless, mere spectators to their enduring struggle. Yet, in the face of such adversity, a remarkable transformation is taking place among the youngest generation. Today’s children are demonstrating unexpected maturity and a keen understanding of complex realities far beyond their years. This observation underscores the urgent need to nurture and raise our children to become the leaders of tomorrow. A recent classroom discussion provides valuable insights into how we can achieve this. The teacher posed three thought-provoking questions to the students and gathered their insightful responses: Why did the prophet Muhammad (S) lead the prophets in salah at Byth Al Muqaddis? Why not any other prophet? What is the significance of this imamat and leadership for us as Muslims? Are we leading in today’s time? And why? The children, aged between five and ten, provided a variety of answers to the first question. They answered because Rasool (S) was the last prophet, the best among people, exceptionally kind-hearted, and the most merciful. Regarding the significance, they responded, “It’s a message for us to lead. We also need to lead. We are the best of the Ummah, and our prophet is the best of all the prophets.” When asked if we are leading in today’s time, the children unanimously said, “No.” They explained that we are not leading because we are not following the instructions of Allah, are not good Muslims, and are not reading the Quran. Their responses reflect a deep awareness of the current situation and the importance of spiritual and moral guidance. The teacher then asked, “Who is a leader?” The children responded thoughtfully, describing a leader as someone who worships Allah, reads the Quran, makes dua, and follows Allah and His Prophet. They also emphasized qualities like helping others, giving to charity, being kind and respectful, apologizing when necessary, and always doing what is right. These responses highlight the essence of leadership qualities rooted in spiritual and emotional intelligence. Our children are seeking leaders within our homes. As the saying goes, “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.” In the family, the father is a leader. We must reflect on whether we are performing our duties as leaders effectively. Are we demonstrating proper Salah to our children? Are we offering prayers for Palestine and inviting our children to join us? Our kids understand what is right and wrong and look to us for guidance. Evaluating both emotional and spiritual intelligence is crucial in selecting leaders. In some countries, couples check their health status before marriage; similarly, assessing emotional intelligence is important. Individuals with issues in these areas can negatively impact their children’s lives, ultimately affecting society and the world. Islamic history provides numerous examples of young leaders who embody these qualities. For instance, Usama ibn Zaid, at just 17, was entrusted by Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to lead an army. Despite his youth, he proved to be a capable and successful leader. Muhammad Al-Fatih, who conquered Constantinople, was meticulously prepared for leadership from a young age, mastering various disciplines and languages. Sultan Salahuddin Ayubi, known for his valour and compassion, devoted his life to the service of Islam and his subjects, exemplifying true leadership. Islamic history is rich with remarkable leaders such as ‘Abdurrahman Ad-Dhakil and Alp Arslan (Muhammad ibn Dāwūd). ‘Abdurrahman Ad-Dhakil, a descendant of the Umayyads, faced relentless pursuit by enemies from Sham to Spain, where he eventually became a great leader in Andalusia at just 25. Alp Arslan, known as the “heroic lion,” was renowned for his mercy and generosity, even towards his enemies. All these leaders shared common traits: exemplary manners, character, asceticism (zuhd), and piety (taqwa). They possessed spiritual intelligence from a young age, were Hafizs, and were well-versed in Islamic Sharia, fiqh, and multiple languages. They also had military knowledge and skills, along with an understanding of mathematics, physics, and astronomy. Role of Parents in Shaping Leaders The upbringing of these leaders was significantly influenced by their parents. For example, Sultan Mohammed Al Fatih’s mother instilled in him the ambition to conquer Constantinople by showing him the city walls and encouraging him to aspire for greatness through the Quran, power, weaponry, and people’s love. Similarly, Salahuddin’s father emphasized the importance of liberating Quds (Jerusalem), instilling a sense of responsibility and purpose in him. Parenting Insights for Raising Leaders Know Yourself: Self-awareness is crucial for good parenting. Understand your strengths, weaknesses, and values to lead by example. Children learn from observing consistent and authentic behaviour. Be Honest and Transparent: Sharing your mistakes and problem-solving processes with your children teaches them honesty and accountability. It also shows that making mistakes is a natural part of life. Understand Developmental Stages: Knowledge of your child’s developmental phases helps you support their mental, physical, and emotional growth effectively. Adjust expectations according to their age and abilities to foster their strengths and address weaknesses. Focus on Strengths and Weaknesses: Support your child in pursuing their passions while helping them overcome weaknesses. Encourage their dreams, whether they aspire to be artists or athletes, rather than imposing your own unfulfilled ambitions. Guide Them in Faith: Instill a strong sense of religious identity and values. Teach the importance of the five pillars of Islam, the six articles of faith (iman), and the concept of ihsan (spiritual excellence). Nurture a sincere prayer practice with kindness and understanding rather than compulsion. Learn from Mistakes: Teach children through their mistakes with love and guidance. Avoid being abusive or overly authoritative. Recognize their efforts and correct them gently, fostering a learning environment based on mutual respect and growth. Conclusion Parents play a crucial role in shaping the future leaders of the Ummah. By embodying the qualities they wish to instil, guiding their children with wisdom and kindness, and nurturing their spiritual and personal […]
Category Archives: Reflections
By Zaheda Motala Living with a toxic or narcissistic spouse can be an emotional roller coaster, where self-confidence is shattered, personal boundaries are constantly violated, and one’s sense of reality is distorted. Case Study Sara was a pious and righteous 20-year-old girl who had always strived to please Allah. She had been married to Akbar, a successful businessman, whose charismatic presence had initially drawn her in. However, after the honeymoon ended, just in the first month of their marriage, Sara noticed that Akbar was consumed by his ego. He constantly sought praise and approval from her, and as much as she tried, she couldn’t please him. Over time, Akbar’s behaviour grew increasingly toxic. His need for attention and validation manifested in verbal aggression towards Sara. He would belittle her, dismiss her opinions, and make her feel small and insignificant. Sara, always trying to keep the peace and salvage the marriage, silently endured the emotional torment, believing that she could somehow change\ Akbar or find a way to make the marriage work. However, the constant emotional strain began to take its toll on Sara. She felt isolated, her self-esteem crumbling under the weight of Akbar’s toxic behaviour. She found herself withdrawing from her family and friends, feeling unable to share the truth of her suffering with anyone. Nights were spent in tears, silently praying pleading for guidance from Allah and relief from the pain of her situation. It was during one visit that Sara’s mother asked her why Sara would not visit her for weeks on end, to which Sara’s tears flowed without restriction. Sensing her daughter’s distress, she knew something was wrong and intervened. Seeing the toll that the marriage was taking on Sara, she gently urged her to seek help. Understanding that seeking therapy was still stigmatised in some circles, especially in the context of marriage, Sara’s mother assured her that seeking professional guidance did not contradict their Islamic beliefs. She reminded Sara of the importance of mental and emotional well-being, and how seeking help when struggling was not a sign of weakness, but rather a proactive step towards seeking healing and peace. Encouraged by her mother’s words, Sara found the courage to seek therapy. Through her sessions, she learned to recognize the signs of emotional abuse and manipulation. She discovered that the dynamics of her relationship with Akbar were deeply unhealthy and that she wasn’t alone in her suffering. She began to understand that her worth was not defined by Akbar’s words or actions and that she deserved to be treated with respect and kindness. Her therapist, a kind and understanding woman, also helped Sara integrate Islamic teachings into her healing process. Together, they explored the concept of patience, not as a passive acceptance of abuse, but as a strength for healing. With the guidance of her therapist and the support of her mother, Sara found strength in Dua and Tahajjud Salaah. With a newfound sense of self-worth, she firmly expressed her boundaries and expectations for their marriage. Conclusion While the road to healing was not easy, Sara began to set healthy boundaries to seek relief from the toxic grip of Akbar’s demeaning behaviour. To begin with, she started doing the social work that she used to do before marriage. At first, Akbar resisted by saying, “There’s no need for you to work”. However, Sara explained to him politely but firmly, that it was not work but service to humanity. Helping others and putting a smile on people’s faces gave Sara inner peace. She returned home content and feeling accomplished. With time, Sara’s newfound assertiveness and self-respect began to shape the dynamics of her marriage with Akbar. While he initially resisted the changes, Sara’s unwavering commitment to her well-being began to influence Akbar’s behaviour. He gradually recognized the strength and resilience within Sara. Advice What should one do if married to a spouse exhibiting toxic or narcissistic behaviours?: 1. Make dua to Allah Tala for protection against the harmful actions and intentions of a narcissist. 2. Consider thinking of one’s spouse as a Ma’zhur (one who is excused by the Shariah due to an illness or excuse). Although they might not legally qualify as one, the perspective may help create an understanding in the mind. 3. Make Dua and ask Allah to help your spouse heal from their bad toxic traits. Continue to make Dua for them. 3. Allah promises an increase in bounties for those who show gratitude. Therefore, shift the focus on the spouse’s good qualities and remain grateful to Allah for the goodness. 4. Once in a while, feed your spouse’s ego by showering them with the compliments they want to hear. However, don’t over-exhaust yourself. Be genuine. 5. Set healthy boundaries, with all due respect, where you don’t allow yourself to be trampled upon. 6. Seek professional help from a learned Islamic Counselor. 7. Strengthen your connection with Allah. 8. Try to cope with your spouse’s behaviours by not taking them personally’ and putting a temporary shield between their behaviour and you. Suppose they belittle you by passing a nasty comment, then put a barrier between that comment and yourself and do something that brings joy to your heart like watering the plants, praying, or baking. 9. Continue to pray this dua in abundance: اللھم لا تسلط علینا من لا یرحمنا، ولا يخافك فینا Allahumma laa tusalit alayna man laa yarhamna wa laa yakhaafuka feek 10. Recite this Ayah throughout the day – وَ اُفَوِّضُ اَمْرِیْۤ اِلَى اللّٰهِؕ-اِنَّ اللّٰهَ بَصِیْرٌۢ بِالْعِبَادِ 11. Please seek professional help and support especially if verbal abuse becomes physical. Conclusion In the end, Sara’s story serves as a reminder that seeking help and guidance is not at odds with our Deen. Rather, they are essential tools in navigating the complexities of life and striving towards emotional and spiritual well-being.
by Manaal Amir Ahmad Is pop psychology just throwing the term ‘self-care’ around to hide all the chaos underneath? Are we sliding into selfish territory or as the trend says, “Entering into our Villiam Era”? The self-care craze is a hot topic worldwide these days. Research suggests about 80% of individuals have engaged in self-care routines since COVID-19. The mental health industry coupled with TikTok and Instagram is witnessing a blow-up like never before. Terms like ‘toxicity’, ‘setting boundaries’ and ‘taking a break’ are being thrown around a lot lately. But let’s keep an eye on how these values are making their way into our homes and shaping our behaviours. Is this well-being boom a boost for us in reality, or is it slowly eclipsing our virtues? A study by PlushCare last November found that a whopping 83.7% of mental health advice on TikTok globally might not be reliable. Also, approximately 14.2% of the videos carry content that could be harmful. This is concerning as many youths take advice from TikTok and Instagram influencers. According to a February 2023 survey by Hall & Partners, which included 10,000 participants worldwide, more than 59 million Americans turned to TikTok and Instagram influencers for health-related advice. Here is a list of some common well-being advice that has been going around our daily feed; You’ve probably got a few examples of your own popping up in your head by now. These practices have redefined our relationships and categorized them into labels such as, ‘‘good for my mental health’ ‘my safe space’, that’s ‘toxic person’, he has got a very ‘negative vibe’ etc. Even though these statements might seem all about empowerment and taking control at first, they kind of skate on the edge of being a bit selfish. Are we subtly engaging in selfishness in the name of self-care? Let’s take a look at both the terms first, Self-care: is the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being. Selfishness: Selfishness is perceived in ourselves and others when we detect a situation-specific desire to benefit the self that disregards others’ desires and prevailing social expectations for the situation. Looking at these terms we can see that self-care is internally focused on recognizing the importance of relationships but behind selfishness is disregard for others’ feelings and how our actions might impact them. A book by Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein called “Why Can’t You Read My Mind” talks about how toxic labelling can lead to a destructive cycle of blame, resentment, and further misunderstandings. Some of these trends, actually qualify as ‘bad akhlaq’ for us Muslims. We have a concept of ‘Ummah’ which is very different from the individualistic society that we are moving towards, we are taught about numerous Qura’nic verses hadiths since childhood, that contradicts what we are witnessing around the world these days; “Be mindful of God, in whose name you make requests of one another. Beware of serving the ties of kinship, God is always watching over you.” (Translation – Abdel Haleem) But those who break the covenant of Allāh after contracting it and sever that which Allāh has ordered to be joined and spread corruption on earth – for them is the curse, and they will have the worst home. (Translation – Sahih International) (So would you perhaps, if you turned away) meaning, from Jihad and you withdrew from it. (spread corruption on earth, and sever your ties of kinship) which means, would you then go back to your old practices of the time of ignorance: shedding blood and severing kinship ties? These are the ones whom Allah has condemned, deafening them and blinding their eyes. (Tafsir Ibn Kathir) In this delicate dance of keeping your space and keeping those connections alive, one inevitably grapples with the question: where does one draw the line before it begins to take a toll on mental well-being? One of the most profound Ayahs to reflect upon this subject is from Surah Taghabun, the 64th Surah of the Qur’an, “Believers even among your spouses and your children you have some enemies- Beware of them- but if you overlook their offences, forgive them, pardon them, then God is all forgiving, all merciful. Your Wealth and your children are only a test for you. There is great reward with God, be mindful of God as much as you can hear and obey; be charitable- it is for your good. Those who are saved from their own meanness will be prosperous ones;” – (Qur’an 64: 14-16) The fact that Allah said ‘Be mindful as much as you can’ tells us that it’s a test of our ability to obey and hear him, it’s a test of our Taqwa and Iman. Would we simply just label a person ‘toxic’ and be done with him? Or Will we try to overlook, pardon and forgive, and be the Prosperous ones? Allah says in the Qur’an, “Every hardship that touches you is from Allah, and Allah expiates our sins.” (6:17) The Prophet said: “There was an angel with you who was responding to his insults on your behalf.” Then the Prophet said: “Abu Bakr, (keep in mind) three things which are always true, one of which is that whenever a person is subjected to an injustice but leaves the matter to Allah, then Allah will come to his aid… .” (Musnad Ahmad) Look at the examples of our Prophet Muhammed and Ibrahim A.S, despite being, literarily abused by their kins and friends, they continue to engage with them, striving to convey the truth and provide guidance towards the right path through peaceful discourse. Allah reminds us to have good conduct multiple times in the Qur’an, “Those who spend in ease and hardship and those who restrain their anger and those who are gentle towards people, and Allah loves those who do good.” (3:134) “Surely, He does not like the wrongdoers. The retribution for an evil deed is an equivalent evil. Yet, […]
You might be wondering what challenge has to do with someone who has passed away centuries back. Well, his sadaqatu jariah lives on and one of his blessed works – the Ihya is very much alive with us and I want to take us through how all the forty books in the magnus can help us prepare for Ramadan. Ihya is arguably the most talked-about book in Islam after the Qur’an and the books of hadith. Ihya is praised for capturing every aspect of knowledge an average Muslim needs to live a life of fulfillment and Imam Ghazali has a way of making you feel that you are sitting with him whenever you are reading from the book. I have rated The Magus Opus as the all-time best-selling self-help book. The Ihya ulumudeen is composed of Four Parts or Quarters and each quarter has 10 books hence a total of 40 books on various topics systematically laid out in order of relevance from abstract to essence and from the beginning to the end of life of a human being. And each of these topics has been explained in metaphors that made the lessons more relatable to our core. Ramadan is a month chosen to be special such that human beings are made to sculpt the best out of themselves for both the Ephemeral and after-life. We are encouraged to double our potential for the greater good so, that believer do their best to outdo others eager to learn and unlearn the best ways to achieve maximum rewards in the Holy months. Here are some summarised applications from the 40 chapters – arranged in the order of the book, that hopefully will give a direction on what to seek out for in Ramadan: Knowledge – Seek or review relevant knowledge (shariah) on what is required of you in Ramadan. The significance of Ramadan and some related relevant histories. Most significantly the spiritual significance of the components of Ramadan with your lord. Reaffirm your acceptance of the articles of faith and hold on to the correct beliefs in Allah and his messenger without anchoring any grudge in your submission, no doubt it will prepare you mentally for Ramadan knowing that you are about to journey on the instruction of your Lord. Learn to stay purified both externally and internally – by de-cluttering filthy; words, images, thoughts, and actions unbefitting of a Muslim in your preparation. Raise the bar of your Salah by constantly practising your focus when you have the chance to be one-on-one with Allah. Salah is a gift that makes the believer VIP before their Lord. Give the charity for Allah’s sake, and be kind to your recipients knowing that they are the ones doing you a favour. For those of us unable to give Zakah, let it be known that no one is disqualified from giving sadaqah or charity. So check all the gifts and blessings of Allah upon you and give out of it, even in your smile. Reflect on the metaphorical lesson in the Hajj or pilgrimage on how the whole exercise reflects the human journey from Allah to Allah. Develop friendship with the Qur’an, invocations and supplication and Night vigil activities to get closer to Allah. It is a known tradition that it is through voluntary actions that a slave attains high station and true celebrity status. The theme of the Second quarter is about Norms of Daily life. Manners of eating is the first topic and it is very relevant to Ramadan – the fear of hunger and evening feasting makes us lose our spiritual focus, so beware and be disciplined. Do not – in the name of Ramadan, develop strained relations in your marriage and it should not stop your acquisition and earning of a livelihood. Ramadan is not asking us to pause our mundane but to bring the best out of us while living our normal lives by abiding by lawful and staying away from prohibited acts, strengthening brotherhood in every possible way while avoiding too much or unnecessary socialization to develop your spiritual energy and mental health. Enjoy pleasurable sounds, and the best of them is the recitation of the Quran. Enjoy good, forbid evil, and live the Muhammadan way in your mannerisms. In the third quarter, the theme is about the thing that can lead us to perdition but Imam Ghazali started by explaining the wonders of the heart because that is the centre and the core of humans where the spirit meets the nafs hence, the centre of control. If the core of human beings is understood, such knowledge will help us stay alert and return whenever we are straying from moderation. Watching out the seat of desires; the stomach and the private parts, shunning Rancor and Envy, condemning the world through the realization of its reality, condemning miserliness, love of wealth, status and ostentation, pride, conceit and self-delusion. The final quarter discusses the way to salvation. The things that can help you stay moderate, elevated and return every affair to our Lord, are repentance, patience and thankfulness, having fear and hope in your Creator, through the affirmation of His attributes and essence. Cultivating abstinence, having faith in divine unity and trust in divine providence should lead to intimacy and contentment. Renaming pure in our intention, sincere and trustworthy. Constant self-examination and meditation. And ultimately to constantly remember death and the afterlife to prepare for it. The journey of life is a constant struggle, driving through the storm and fighting to be on the right track. A successful journey requires that one remain focused on the goal of the journey by constantly renewing the intentions and orientating the self to Allah to lead us to the right action and a good ending. Ramadan is a month that encourages us to buckle up and these 40 lessons can help us stay on track in Ramadan and even beyond, such that if Allah blesses us to be successful in them, our […]
In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, where financial markets, commodity prices, and exchange rates often dominate our thoughts, it is crucial to pause and reflect on the deeper purpose of our existence. Indeed, the human has not been created, except to know and worship Allah ﷻ. Certainly, knowledge of Allah is the foundation of all things. In His wisdom, Allah created beings to know Him and worship Him. They know Him through His names and attributes and worship Him through Tawheed (monotheism). This is their ultimate purpose and neglecting it means neglecting the purpose of His creation. As belief in Allah is the fundamental principle and the first pillar of Imaan (faith), and true Imaan involves knowing the Deity one believes in, to a level of certainty and reaching the rank of Ihsaan, the connection is deep between faith and recognising the Rahman (Merciful). The more a servant knows Allah, the stronger their faith becomes, along with increased love, reverence, and fear. As our Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The more a servant knows Allah, the stronger their faith becomes, along with increased love, reverence, and fear”. He (SAW) is also reported to have said: “By Allah, I know Allah better than they do and I fear Him more than they do!” [Al-Bukhari] The essence of Imaan in Allah includes love, reverence, and glorification. These aspects are branches of knowledge. Without a true understanding of one’s Lord, genuine love and proper reverence are unattainable. The fruits of this knowledge manifest in tranquillity, contentment, and the taste of Imaan, rooted in understanding Allah’s justice, wisdom, knowledge, mercy, and decisions. Furthermore, continuous mindfulness and knowledge of Allah are what will aid us in reaching the level of Ihsan. Reflecting on His signs, both in the creations around us and in the Quran leads to a profound recognition of Allah ﷻ and what He expects from us. Ibn Al-Qayyim (RA) states that one door to earning the recognition of Allah is meditation and reflection on all the verses of the Quran, understanding the specific teachings about Allah and His Messenger (SAW). Allah, in the Qur’an, encourages His servants to attain a deeper understanding of Him in two ways: “Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the day and night, there are signs for people of reason.” [Aal-Imran:190] “This is a blessed Book which We have revealed to you, O Prophet, so that they may contemplate its verses, and people of reason may be mindful.” [Al-Mu’minoon:29] The first is being visible evidence to – the truth of the second. Allah commands and forbids, orchestrates affairs, sends messengers, reveals books, gives life and causes death, rewards and punishes, is pleased and angered, grants and withholds, honors and humiliates, lowers and raises, hears and sees, knows the hidden and the unseen, He is described with absolute perfection, free from any flaw. There is no deity but Him, and no Lord besides Him. No movement or stillness, no benefit or harm, no giving or withholding, no seizing or expanding occurs except by His power, planning, and command. Our Allah, Glorified and Exalted, possesses beautiful names and lofty attributes. Each of His sublime names indicates a quality of immense perfection. Every name among His names signifies all the attributes derived from it, encompassing all their meanings. He is the Compassionate, with a vast mercy that encompasses everything. He is the All-Knowing, with extensive knowledge that surrounds everything, nothing escapes His knowledge, be it as small as an atom on Earth or in the heavens. He is the All-Powerful, with absolute capability, nothing is ever beyond His ability. The dominion is in His hand, and He is capable of all things. The names and attributes of Allah are numerous, known and counted only by Allah alone, with no partner. All His names are beautiful, exceeding in beauty to the utmost degree. Among their beauty is that they are not mere labels but names and attributes indicative of perfection, beauty, and majesty. Moreover, it is part of their beauty that Allah has commanded His servants to invoke Him by these names, as mentioned in the verse: “And to Allah belong the best names, so invoke Him by them.” (Al-A’raf: 180). The servant cannot achieve complete servitude to Allah, the Most High, except by realizing His status. In fact, the monotheism of the servant is, by the degree of love for the One and Only. When the heart is filled with veneration for Allah alone, the servant’s Tawheed is perfected. Conversely, if the love and awe for Allah diminishes in the heart, the servant’s Tawheed diminishes. Without awe, there is no true Tawheed, and consequently, there is no genuine servitude. In a world where financial matters often take center stage, the wisdom from the Qur’an offers a profound reminder of the importance of recognizing Allah in every aspect of our lives. The journey toward spiritual awareness involves seeking knowledge, surrounding oneself with the righteous, finding solace in the remembrance of Allah, and actively resisting sinful desires. This not only enriches our understanding of the divine but also transforms our relationship with the material world. By recognizing Allah, we find a source of strength, tranquillity, and guidance amid life’s complexities.
by Abdul Azeez Tunbosun One of the most emphasized teachings in Islam, which is also shared by the other Abrahamic faiths, is that life is transient. We came from somewhere, journeying on a mission and will definitely return at an undisclosed time. The reality of the unknown time of return is a mystery which encourages us to make the most of whatever time we might have. The reality of death is an awareness that makes humans reflect and find meaning in life. In the book “What the living can do for the dead”, the author Shaharul Hussain references a speech by Steve Jobs as thus: “When I was 17, I read a quote that said something like: If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right. It created an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? Whenever the answer had been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something…” he continued. “Right now, the new is you, but someday not too long from now; you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Pardon me for being too elucidative, but it’s quite true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste your time living someone else’s life.” Not sure if Steve Jobs believes in life after death, but the reality of death helps him pursue things meaningfully, knock out distractions and put him on track to achieve his goals as quickly as possible. The concept is not even about the shortness or longevity of life but the reality of the unknown; no one knows when and how. If that message sinks rightly, we will pay less or no attention to 90% of what most of us do with our time. On one of my trips, I had a 12-hour stopover in Ethiopia. Knowing this before the trip I was excited, not because it is my first time to have a stopover there, but the first time I will have the opportunity to see the landscape of the city. Ethiopia is special to me being an ancient place and because of its connection to many stories in the Abrahamic scriptures, like the Queen of Sheba – Balqis, the Abyssinian king Negus who accepted the Muslim Migrants from Makkah, and the acclaimed origin of the prominent companion Bilal, the first to make the call to prayer and one who maintained that position throughout the life of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). So, I was nostalgic while anticipating seeing and driving through this ancient city. Due to document clearance procedures coupled with the COVID-19 protocols, we arrived at the hotel late in the night. The city was already asleep, and I was really tired too upon entering the hotel room. While I assessed the facilities at the hotel I had conflicted thoughts of how such facilities are just too unnecessary for me. A space to have a nice sleep and shower the next morning will suffice. Anyway, I tried putting on the TV to catch some programs and just to have a feeling of the Ethiopian lifestyle, but the TV refused to turn on. I did my best to check what was wrong technically but I was unable to fix it. Then, I thought of calling the hotel management to check it for me. I was about to dial the line when a thought rang in my head, reminding me of my tiredness and teary sleepy eyes. I needed to sleep and regain strength for the journey ahead. At that time, I had just 3 to 4 hours to sleep, so I decided to sleep. The next day was a Sunday. I did not only see the city but also saw the Ethiopian Orthodox Christians dressed in their white robes and covered like Muslims attending church service. I paid attention to every detail I could lay my eyes on till we got to the airport. The experience was short but exciting and, to an extent, a fulfilling one. The lesson here is, I listened to my instinct which reminded me the primary goal of my stay in the hotel was to rest and not to engage in other secondary activities. If I had decided to go ahead with watching TV, I don’t know what could have happened to my health. At the least I would have been too sleepy in the car to notice the city activity on the beautiful Sunday morning and maybe too tired to go clear my papers before the immigration for the next trip which may further lead to stress. This is a depiction of a transient experience. Knowing what matters most and not being distracted by flimsy matters, especially when the end time is unknown and every minute counts. A mentor of mine has taken upon himself every time he has the opportunity to lecture, to remind people the source of our confusion is the neglect of the primary goals laid down in the Qur’an which is calling our attention to how fixated we are in the pursuit of worldly affairs, neglecting the central message of our existence. We indulge in major sins to satisfy our desires without them bothering us. The reality of modern life is such that big sins have become normalized. We engage in all forms of distractions and time-wasters. We police people on tertiary issues. We condemn and damn others for not sharing our perspectives. We are not open-minded. We fall short in the understanding of self, values, responsibilities and things to earn us salvation. When we busy ourselves with being the best of our versions, distractions will naturally fade away. People who have effectively done this are those who actually understand the reality of death and time. This is a design from the […]
Every bit of existence has a connection to TRUST. For humans, trust always precedes or co-exists with our actions. Trust is “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.” Common, in our everyday conversations, are phrases such as “truth be told…” before establishing a fact. Interestingly, whether the fact is genuinely true does not guarantee the listener will believe the fact, no matter how it is presented. What will make the listener accept it to be the truth is TRUST, either trust in themselves (the power to judge, accept or reject intellectually) or trust in the speaker. This leads us to another commonly adopted maxim; “do not trust anyone”. The inference from the adage is to admit the imperfection of man, his ability to err or deceive by choice for various reasons. Thus, we understand why acceptance of a fact to be the truth is influenced and is relative to various conditions human beings find themselves in. When we don’t have the power to discern, we just trust. A baby does not have a mature or developed brain that will enable it to determine the truth and falsehood clearly. Its truth is the trust in the environment, the parents and the caregivers and all the people around him. When these conditions change or any of it is missing, insecurity sets in for the baby. Even in our civic world, it’s all about trust. Our trust in the government or the system will inform our assumption and confidence in every aspect of the system. When we go to the airport to board a flight, we do not think about the competency of the pilot; we just trust the system. Trust in a system of security gives us the confidence to move freely without fear of being harmed. And whenever any of these trusts fail us, our perception changes and the trust level reduces, eventually leading to doubt, fear, and disorderliness, among others. For instance, when a plane crashes, it reduces the trust in the system until they can prove the crash was beyond the scope of management. Intriguingly, trust is usually limited to human beings. For instance, it was not the ability of the aeroplane that we trusted but the trust in the soundness of the science of flight or the pilot making the function manifest and unless we are forced or in certain conditions, we do not engage in things we do not have trust in. Even though our state of innocence (fitrah) is wired to believe the Truth (Al Haqq), which is also one of the names of Allah, the power of discernment gives us the freedom to accept or reject information presented to us, be it truth or falsehood and we do so consciously or subconsciously. The information at our disposal determines the strength of discernment. The intellect judges by these pieces of information or experiences based on what we see, hear or feel. Since we are bound by space and time, there are things we may never see with our eyes or hear with our ears or taste with our mouth or feel by the reaction of our skin or body. Trusting that our ability to know the truth is limited to certain conditions leads us to believe in the unseen realm. Also, it leads to the belief that there must be an Absolute TRUTH, free of every form of imperfection. To save us from the stress of having to determine the soundness of these thoughts, Allah sends His Messengers (May He be Pleased with them All) to show us the TRUTH by manifesting truth in them and bringing the understanding to our level through metaphors by which we can relate. He shows us signs through His Messengers and nature to enlighten our minds. Informing us that the first step to knowing the TRUTH is to believe, but mere belief may not lead to certainty until you have trust. Hence, Abu Bakr became as-Siddiq (the trustworthy) because his trust level in Prophet Muhammad (SAW) made him worthy of trust. He gave preference to anything that came from the Prophet (SAW) after trusting him. Logical proof did not matter to Abu Bakr when he was told the Prophet (SAW) travelled to Jerusalem in one night and even ascended to heaven to meet his Lord. This level of trust earned Abu Bakr the highest status amongst the Companions. In one narration,”Umar was angered by Abu Bakr one day and left him in anger. Abu Bakr followed him, asking his forgiveness, but Umar refused and shut the door in Abu Bakr’s face. Abu Bakr then went to the Prophet (SAW) and took hold of his garment until his knee showed. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Your companion has been arguing!” Abu Bakr greeted him and said: “There was a dispute between `Umar and me, then I felt remorse and asked him to forgive me but he would not, so I came to you.” The Prophet (SAW) said, repeating three times: “Allah forgives you, O Abu Bakr! Allah forgives you, O Abu Bakr! Allah forgives you, O Abu Bakr!” Then Umar felt remorse and sought for Abu Bakr at his house without finding him. He came to the Prophet (SAW) and greeted him, but the Prophet’s face changed with displeasure. Seeing this, Abu Bakr sat up on his knees in fear before the Prophet (SAW) saying twice: “O Messenger of Allah! I am the one who transgressed. O Messenger of Allah! I am the one who transgressed.” The Prophet (SAW) said to the people: “Allah sent me to you, and you all said: ‘You are lying!’ But Abu Bakr said: ‘He told the truth.’ Abu Bakr gave me solace with his person and property. Will you leave my companion alone once and for all? Will you leave my companion alone once and for all?!” After this, Abu Bakr has never harmed again.” Umar said in a narration “Were the Iman of Abu Bakr to be weighed […]
6. The end of times is marked by earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, natural disasters and massive deaths Whenever a serious catastrophe hits this world, we see headlines speaking of the ‘apocalypse’. It is surely the weak human’s incapacity to imagine greater damage or his need to justify any of his reactions to what is happening. Our belief is that the advent of Allāh’s Messenger ﷺ was in itself one of the signs of the end of times. Was not he called the Prophet of the end of times/ākhir az-zamān? عن سهل بن سعد رضي الله عنه عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ”بُعِثْتُ أنا والساعةَ هكذا“، ويُشير بإصبعيه فيَمُدُّ بهما. Sahl bin Sa`d narrated: “I saw Allāh’s Messenger ﷺ join his index and middle fingers and say: “The time of my Advent and the Hour are like these two fingers.” This means that by all means, we have been living at the end of times for a long time already. 7. The scale of death We tend to think, collectively as humans, that the end of time may be in a couple of centuries or millennia. People are no longer living in great numbers for 150 years. It is not common any more. It may be more ‘practical’ to consider our individual possible life expectancy with a few facts in mind: 8. Ghafla/heedlessness Our first ghafla builds up when we live as if our modern ease and conveniences replace the truth of this life. The repetition of our daily life routines, commitments, and habits in the dunya veils our perception. It is a headlessness/ghafla which diminishes our capacity to see the truth of things. When we lean into these conditions, life starts to feel like it is only getting better, as in ”وَكَانَ لَهُ ثَمَرٌ فَقَالَ لِصَاحِبِهِ وَهُوَ يُحَاوِرُهُ أَنَا أَكْثَرُ مِنكَ مَالًا وَأَعَزُّ نَفَرًا (34) وَدَخَلَ جَنَّتَهُ وَهُوَ ظَالِمٌ لِّنَفْسِهِ قَالَ مَا أَظُنُّ أَن تَبِيدَ هَٰذِهِ أَبَدًا (35) وَمَا أَظُنُّ السَّاعَةَ قَائِمَةً وَلَئِن رُّدِدتُّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّي لَأَجِدَنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهَا مُنقَلَبًا (36)“ 34. And he had [abundant] fruit and said unto his companion as he conversed with him, “I am greater than you in wealth and stronger in men.” 35 And he entered his garden, wronging himself, and said, “I think not that this will ever perish. 36 Nor do I think that the Hour is imminent. And if I am brought back to my Lord, I shall surely find something better than this in the Hereafter.” (Al-Kahf, 18: 34-36) We can find safety and resort to security in building codes, processes and technologies. Building the means of our ease and safety and being diligent in doing it is the saʿy/striving Allāh enjoins upon us. But the truth is that even in our striving and diligence, our ultimate and genuine sense of safety has to come from Allāh and our consciousness of Him Subhānahu wa Ta’ālā. As Prophet Noah(Alayhi Salām) said to his son, the truth is: “لا عاصِمَ اليَوْمَ مِن أَمْرِ اللهِ إِلَّا مَن رَّحِم” (سورة هود، الآية 43) “There is no protector on this day from the Command of God, save for the one upon whom He has Mercy.” (Hūd, 11:43) Prophet Noah (AS) was speaking of that particular day which saw the onset of the deluge but it is a statement which is true in all times and under all circumstances. Trials have the power to remind us of al-Haq and of the One Who has Command over everything. ”لِمَنِ الْمُلْكُ الْيَوْمَ لِلَّهِ الْوَاحِدِ الْقَهَّارِ“ (سورة غافر، الآية 16) “Whose is the sovereignty this Day? It is Allāh’s, the One, the Ever Compeller” (Ghāfir, 40:16) Sovereignty is Allāh’s on that Day, today, yesterday and at all moments with no exception. No matter what levels of authority we accept, before them all and more than any of them, awareness of Allāh’s sovereignty should be present with us, always. 9. Degrees of the sense of fear and safety ”وَكَيْفَ أَخَافُ مَآ أَشْرَكْتُمْ وَلَا تَخَافُونَ أَنَّكُمْ أَشْرَكْتُم بِٱللَّهِ مَا لَمْ يُنَزِّلْ بِهِۦ عَلَيْكُمْ سُلْطَٰنًا ۚ فَأَىُّ ٱلْفَرِيقَيْنِ أَحَقُّ بِٱلْأَمْنِ ۖ إِن كُنتُمْ تَعْلَمُونَ“ (سورة الأنعام، الآية 81) “How should I fear the partners you ascribe, when you do not fear ascribing partners unto Allāh for which He has sent down to you no authority? So which of the two parties has greater right to security, if you know?” (Al-Anʿām, 6: 81) In this verse, we are informed of two parties: those who are granted security and safety on the one hand, and those who are clearly lacking it on the other. In this verse, Prophet Ibrāhīm, peace and blessings be upon him, explains that he is not in a position to be fearful of those which the disbelievers associate with Allāh. He is also surprised that the associators were not afraid that they in fact associated with Allāh things which He had not sent down any authority to them. Peace and tranquillity are achieved in our relationship and awareness of Allāh. Doubt, hesitation and agitation are the state of those who are not anchored in that certainty. 10. The truth of grief in this life will be revealed to us عن أنس بن مالك، قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: ”يؤتى يوم القيامة بأنعم أهل الدنيا من الكفار، فيقال: اغمسوه في النار غمسة، فيغمس فيها، ثم يخرج، ثم يقال له: أي فلان هل أصابك نعيم قط؟ فيقول: لا، ما أصابني نعيم قط، ويؤتى بأشد المؤمنين ضرا، وبلاء، فيقال: اغمسوه غمسة في الجنة، فيغمس فيها غمسة، فيقال له: أي فلان هل أصابك ضر قط، أو بلاء، فيقول: ما أصابني قط ضر، ولا بلاء.“ سنن ابن ماجة Anas ibn Mālik related that the Prophet ﷺ said: “On the Day of Resurrection, the disbeliever who had the best worldly life is brought and it is said: ‘Dip him once in the fire.’ When he is dipped in it and pulled out of it, he is asked: ‘O [his name], have you ever experienced/tasted any goodness in your life?’ He answers: ‘No, never.’ Then a the believer who was hurt […]
It is very hard to speak of human grief because it calls for a lot of nuances and one cannot venture into ‘guessing’ words that give painful events their due. Nevertheless, it is only fitting to say that whenever large-scale catastrophes hit, they submerge the ummā in deep agony. Loss, in Arabic, is “ faqd”. Even in the brief pronunciation of this word, one can taste the bitter suddenness which quickly turns into regrets for what could have been (or done), leading one to consider a series of ‘if only’ and ‘what if’ which will only deepen the wounds and keep them raw and tender. However, in times of large-scale loss, we are also reminded that we belong to one ummah. As members of one ummāh, the Prophet ﷺ described the ties linking us as tawād (reciprocal exchange of love) and tarāḥum (reciprocal exchange of mercy). It is appropriate for us to engage with upheavals like a body that has been violently shaken, rather than as some people outside of the catastrophe and extending help to ‘others’ who are in pain. That afflicted part of our body is hurt and the rest of the same body is agonising in insomnia and fever. In the realm of a great shock, we cannot but consider a number of truths: 1. Allah made a deal with the believers “إِنَّ اللَّهَ اشْتَرَىٰ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَنْفُسَهُمْ وَأَمْوَالَهُمْ بِأَنَّ لَهُمُ الْجَنَّةَ ۚ“ (سورة التوبة، الآية 111) “Truly Allāh has purchased from the believers their souls and their wealth in exchange for the Garden being theirs. ” (al-Tawbah, 9:111) This is a statement which is presented in the Quran as a khabar (a piece of news) about something that already happened in the past. It is not a promise or an attempt to comfort someone in pain. It is a divine statement that can better be understood in light of the hadith: قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : «إِذَا سَبَقَتْ لِلْعَبْدِ مِنَ اللهِ مَنْزِلَةٌ لَمْ يَبْلُغْهَا بِعَمَلِهِ، ابْتَلَاهُ اللهُ فِي جَسَدِهِ أَوْ فِي مَالِهِ أَوْ فِي وَلَدِهِ، ثُمَّ صَبَّرَهُ حَتَّى يُبْلِغَهُ الْمَنْزِلَةَ الَّتِي سَبَقَتْ لَهُ مِنْهُ» أخرجه الإمام أحمد وأبو داود The Prophet ﷺ said: “When Allāh initiates the blessing of conferring on a servant a station which the latter has not reached with his deeds (of worship), Allāh gives him tests either in his health or his wealth or his offspring, then provides him with sabr/endurance to sustain the test/turmoil until He has him attain that station which Allāh had destined him to attain.” [Imām Ahmad and Abū Dāud] The word idhā means ‘if’, but it also has the meaning of ‘when’, which means it is not only a possibility but a recurrent possibility that is open to all of Allāh’s servants. In other words: that is no great matter for Allāh. Now, sabaqat means that Allāh does not need to wait for a servant to deserve and earn a station in order to grant it to him. It is Allāh who initiates the giving and then makes ways for the servant to reach His gift. Not only that, when the ways are challenging, Allāh grants the servant sabr/steadfastness and endurance to weather them and helps him find his way through them to the station which He was the One to bless him in the first place. It is true that the testing is from Allāh, but also is the raised station not attained by the servants’ efforts alone and the sabr to attain it through the turmoils. It is as if Allāh, in all His mercy, and before even being asked, is acting in response to the prayer that the Prophet ﷺ taught his daughter Fatima: ”اللهم أصلح لي شأني كله ولا تكلني لنفسي طرفة عين ولا لأحد من خلقك.“ رواه النسائي في “السنن الكبرى” “O Allāh make all my matters good and do not entrust me to myself nor to any of your creatures even for the blink of an eye.” (Al-Nassāʾī in al-Sunan al-kubrā) This is: ”فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا 5 إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا 6“ (سورة الشرح، الآية 5-6) “For truly with hardship comes ease! 6. Truly with hardship comes ease!” (Al-Sharḥ, 94: 5-6) Ibn al-Qayyim said: إنَّ العبد لا يستغني عن تثبيت الله لهُ طرفةَ عينٍ، فإن لم يثبِّته، زالت سماء إيمانه وأرضه عن مكانهما. (ابن القيم، إعلام الموقعين 1/136) ‘The servant is never beyond the need for Allāh to keep him firmly rooted (in his religion and certainty) even for the blink of an eye. If Allāh does not, then the heavens and earth of his belief cease to exist.’ [I’laam al-Muwaqa’een 1/136] Allāh does not only inform us of this deal but also tells us to rejoice in the deal, in the great triumph: ”فَاسْتَبْشِرُوا بِبَيْعِكُمُ الَّذِي بَايَعْتُمْ بِهِ ۚ وَذَٰلِكَ هُوَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ“ (سورة التوبة، الآية 111) “So rejoice in the bargain you have made. That indeed is the great triumph.” (al-Tawbah, 9:111) 2. This worldly life is dār balā’ It is in the nature of this world to be one made for testing and a transition into eternal life. ”أَفَحَسِبْتُمْ أَنَّمَا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ عَبَثًا وَأَنَّكُمْ إِلَيْنَا لَا تُرْجَعُونَ“ (سورة المؤمنون، الآية 115) “Did you suppose, then, that We created you frivolously, and that you would not be returned unto Us?” (Al-Muʾminūn, 23: 115) But why should the weak humans be “challenged” in any manner? Maybe to attain a station that is unknown to us and that will be unveiled to us hereafter. One might be tempted to say: “Does it have to be in this horrible way!” (AstaghfiruLlah!) But the truth is that we only return to Allāh in the way that Allāh designed for us. ”لَا يُسْأَلُ عَمَّا يَفْعَلُ وَهُمْ يُسْأَلُونَ“ (سورة الأنبياء، الآية 23) “He shall not be questioned about what He does, but they shall be questioned.” (Al-Anbiyāʾ, 21:23) 3. The testing is not only in good The ways in which we are tested are obvious when they are calamities: ”وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنْفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ“ (سورة البقرة، الآية […]
By Abdul Azeez Tunbosun According to a popular saying: “The best form of wealth is “peace of mind”. Conventionally, wealth is understood to mean a possession, in abundance, of (physical) things that are valuable to human beings in relation to time or era, as in, a luxurious car in the 1960s will be scrapped in 2023. But “peace of mind” is an abstract matter, we need to make sense of it in relation to physical wealth and what makes it the best of wealth to be sought out for, In Arabic, the word PEACE means SALAM, derived from the root S-L-M – pronounced Sin-Lam-Mim, which literally translates as whole or safe. Morphologically, it also serves as the root word for a number of other terms, all closely related in meaning. For example, when a person accepts Islam, he/she has submitted (to their faith), not seeking any conflict with Allah (the source of Peace). From the Islamic perspective, the mind is aql, the seat of intelligence. Humans are basically composed of two aspects: the body and the spirit. The body is the ‘riding animal’ for the spirit (ruh). The essential reality of the human lies in the spirit, also termed nafs “soul”, qalb “heart”, or ‘aql “mind-intelligence”. Because, according to Imam Ghazali, they all coincide in Higher meaning (interaction with the higher self) and differ in lower meanings (interaction with the lower self). Based on these etymologies, someone who truly has “peace of mind” is a person whose soul, heart, or aql is whole and/or safe (in or with Allah). How wealthy a person is of “peace of mind” relies on his/her level of submission to Allah as depicted in the hadith of Gabriel, the Prophet (saw) designated three degrees of the religion. The base is Islam, the middle is Iman (faith) and the pinnacle is excellence (ihsan). When you have Islam, you are a Muslim, when you have Iman, you are a Mu’min, when you have Ihsan, you are a Muhsin. Islam is the prerequisite for these levels. In reference to the hadith of Gabriel, Ihsan is to worship God as if you see Him… To gauge the level of peace your mind possesses will be determined by how you respond or react to external factors. The Prophet, who is our excellent teacher, never leaves the most important lesson untouched, he said in one of his hadith: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the BELIEVER. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” When we perceive the things happening to us in positive or negative, good or bad (relative to our desires and pleasures of life), it should not be a question of why me but how perfect my response to those occurrences is. Allah says (Surat al-Andkaboot 29:2): “Do people think that they will be left alone because they said, “we believe”, and will not be tested? In the exemplary life of the Prophet, we see numerous incidents teaching us how to be dynamic and resolute in our trust in Allah. His journey to and the agony he faced at Ta’if, would always bring tears to the eyes of the believers, he was stoned and beaten to blood but how he handled the incident taught us a great lesson and a display of his untainted resolve in Allah. It was there that the Angel Gabriel came to him with the Angel of the Mountains and said that if Muhammad wanted, he would blow the mountains over the people of Ta’if (or crush the people of Ta’if in between the mountains). How did he respond to this request? The Prophet prayed: “O Allah! I complain to You of my weakness, my scarcity of resources, and the humiliation I have been subjected to by the people. O Most Merciful of those who are merciful. O Lord of the weak and my Lord too. To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair? So long as You are not angry with me, I do not care. Your favour is of a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or Your displeasure descends upon me. I desire Your pleasure and satisfaction until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You.” Despite this pain and while nursing the wound, he did not abandon his assignment when the opportunity was presented to him, when the Christian slave named Addas from Nineveh was asked to give a tray of grapes to the exhausted Prophet in the garden he was resting, The Prophet took the grape and before putting it into his mouth he recited “In the name of God, Ever Gracious, Most Merciful.” Addas became curious and inquired about the identity of Muhammad who presented himself. The conversation that ensued led Addas to declare his acceptance of Islam. This shows that our greatness lies in congruence with Allah. Peace of mind is an all-encompassing wealth defining the wholesomeness of human beings in relation to/or in identifying with Allah, not a temporary attachment to a state or condition. Tawbah (repentance) and Istighfar (seeking forgiveness) act as the shock absorbers every time we sin, providing that spring to return back to Allah, because we will always slip. O Allah, You are peace, peace comes from You. Blessed are You O Possessor of Glory and Honour.