Gentle Masculinity of the Prophet ﷺ
By Hadeel Bahaa
“I know when you are content with me and I know when you are angry with me. When you are content with me, you swear by the lord of Muhammad and when you are angry with me you swear by the lord of Ibrahim.” – The Beloved ﷺ to his wife Aisha
Every time I come across this prophetic narration I’m left speechless on the emotional intelligence of the Beloved ﷺ . How amidst his big mission of leading the whole ummah and spreading Islam across nations, he’d notice how his wife addressed him indicating she wasn’t pleased with something and how he’d be playful about it and not take it to heart.
This is the Prophet ﷺ, the Master of the whole creation yet he makes sure that his wife knows how much he cares for her, being mindful of her reactions.
After he’d be done with the duties of the day, he’d engage in an activity with her. “Let’s run together and see who reaches there faster”. He would win the race and remind her that now they are even since she won last time. Aisha would describe him ﷺ: “He was the sweetest person at home.”
Aisha’s head would fall into his lap from so much joy and laughter. She heard the Prophet ﷺ making dua for her once. He asked her ” Does my dua for you make you happy?” She exclaimed, “And who wouldn’t be happy if you made dua for him?!”
Who is the most beloved person to you? Amr ibn Al As asks him.
The Prophet ﷺ says: Aisha
Amr asks: then who?
The Prophet ﷺ says: Her father.
They say that when someone is truly in love they are in love with each and everything related to the person. In an environment where no man would speak about his woman publicly. The Prophet ﷺ made a clear-cut statement that she is the most beloved person to him. As if the companion found it strange that he’d mention a woman. He asked the question again. The Prophet ﷺ reaffirmed that her father was his second favorite because she belonged to him. He didn’t even say his name. He said: “Her father”. I love whomever you belong to.
Aisha breaks the dish in front of the Prophet ﷺ because his other wife sent it to him. The Prophet ﷺ would say:
“Your mother is just jealous”. That’s it. He didn’t reprimand her. He didn’t quieten her. He acknowledged her raw emotions. He just made this statement and moved on.
” I choose you o Messenger of Allah”
That was her words when the Prophet ﷺ gave her the choice between having more of the riches of this world by leaving him or staying with him without the world at their feet. And just as she chose him, he chose to die in her presence.
“Please, will you let me spend my last moments with her?”, he’d ask in a polite manner and he could have just done it without asking.
Where are we in the prophetic meter when it comes to our relationships?
That was a relationship that was founded on love for Allah first and foremost. A relationship where you could be your most authentic self, vulnerable, and different without the other taking this out against you. “You will be asked about the one you are taking care of” -The Beloved ﷺ
Embodying the Beloved ﷺ makes you close to the Beloved.
So what are you waiting for?